Sources say the former president was spotted on a boat near the infamous island prison, where he allegedly made a move to throw somebits to a massive crocodile. Witnesses report that Trump maybe got a little overly familiar with the beast, leading some nervouslaughing. The {entireaffair was captured on video, and clips have instantly gone viral online.
- The reason for this encounter is unknown
- chose Alcatraz
- conspiracy theories abound that he wastrying to make a statement
Urgent Update: The Donald and the Danger Lizards!
A shocking development is unfolding at Mar-a-Lago as we speak/right now/at this very moment. Sources report that former President Bigly Don has faced off against a pack of super creepy lizards, said to be mutated by radiation/the result of government experiments/escaped from Area 51.
Local reporters claim to have seen the former leader fighting with the creatures, wielding a golf club. The situation is still developing/unfolding/sketchy, and we await official statements from a bewildered Secret Service agent.
Stay tuned for more updates on this utterly bonkers event!
The Donald's Wild Tour of Alcatraz
Get ready for a wild ride, folks! Tweeter-in-Chief is hitting the rock/island/prison like never before in a tour/experience/adventure they're calling the Gator Gauntlet. Sources say he's planning on showing off/lecturing about/taking control of the island, packing his best suits. He's even rumored to be order a giant cheeseburger from McDonald's during his visit. This ain't your grandma's tour of Alcatraz, folks. Brace yourselves!
- Will Trump be able to handle the cold?/Will Alcatraz stand up to Trump?/Can anyone stop Trump?
- Stay tuned for updates on this crazy story!/Follow us for all the latest Trump news!/Don't miss out on this wild ride!
Alligator Alcatraz? You Betcha, Says Trump
Folks, lemme tell ya somethin'. This situation down in Florida is gettin' worse. They got these alligators runnin' wild. And what do they do? Nothing! They just let 'em roam around. But not me, I wouldn't stand for that. We gotta make an example of these reptiles. That's why I say we gotta build a gator jail - Alcatraz for these pesky beasts, folks! That's what makes America great, takin' care of problems.
- MAGA!
The Don's Wild Ride: Presidential GATOR Safari!
This ain't your typical campaign rally, folks. The Commander-in-Chief himself is hitting the glades on a wild maniacal rampage. That's right, we're talking about Trumphunting for gators. Sources say he's packing his that ridiculous red "Make America Great Again" beanie and more info planning on showing those gators who's boss. Will he emerge victorious? Only time will tell!
You Won't Believe This! Trump Goes Cage Diving With Gators
Folks, you are totally gonna want to hear about this! The Donald himself, previous Prez Trump, has decided to take a wild journey. He's trading his golf clubs for some serious courage and is diving into a pen full of mean alligators! Sources say that this whole thing was an attempt to boost his image.
What could possibly be more wild? Only time will show.